i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.