By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.