She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?