I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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