Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
