who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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