How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
