just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
