Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
