i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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