Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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