just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize