I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
