and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
