i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
