those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
