What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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