Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
