I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
