I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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