you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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