we have officially lost it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it's like iHOP with fire
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize