It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
