I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
