a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
