We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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