When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
