I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
