I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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