Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
