Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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