Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
