i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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