Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
