What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
