Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
