the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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