Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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