Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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