like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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