Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
