Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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