How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
