Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
