Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
