You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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