I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what day is it and did you see me today?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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