i think my mom watched the whole time
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
