today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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