I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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