Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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