nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.