I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
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Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up