Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk http://tfl.nu/i7vt
  Replies (44) Good night (5672) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems". http://tfl.nu/zcya
  Replies (11) Good night (3808) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved http://tfl.nu/ox8t
  Replies (7) Good night (1106) Bad night (2435)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play. http://tfl.nu/jglo
  Replies (11) Good night (1115) Bad night (4179)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical. http://tfl.nu/ictl
  Replies (19) Good night (4729) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra? http://tfl.nu/qq09
  Replies (5) Good night (2645) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons http://tfl.nu/nkke
  Replies (5) Good night (1850) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9
  Replies (22) Good night (1675) Bad night (2187)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave http://tfl.nu/h612
  Replies (16) Good night (1658) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/zxsm
  Replies (6) Good night (1881) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town http://tfl.nu/jicp
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub http://tfl.nu/h3vj
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman. http://tfl.nu/hitw
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing http://tfl.nu/zynh
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (223)

Randomize