I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had to cum in my sink.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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