He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
