dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
