remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
