I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
