haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed π
Too much dab too little lung dying π΅π΅π΅
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Give it up bro. Iβm not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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