by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
