you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize