Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
