toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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