i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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