Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
