Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
