I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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