what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story